Winning Without Winning

I lost today … and still won.

I learned this morning that I did not make the list of finalists for the inaugural Whistler Independent Book Awards.  I had been thrilled to find my name on the list of 10 fiction nominees — the “longlist” — for what some are calling the first major awards for self-published authors in Canada.  Of course, when I learned of my nomination on July 4th, I briefly envisioned myself on the podium at the Whistler Writers Festival this fall, thanking the academy before delivering a witty and poignant acceptance speech that would quickly catch fire on social media, thus launching my career as a literary genius.

Then reality caught up with me, and I began to research “the competition”.  It was a humbling experience.  After looking at the impressive list of authors who were on the longlist with me, I did not see the other nine people as competition, but rather as a group of competent writers whose names I am happy to be associated with.

I believe I wrote a solid debut novel, and — with the help of two editors, a painter, a photographer, twelve beta readers and two cover designers — created a quality product that belongs on a bookshelf alongside traditionally published works.  But I’m just getting started as an author, and though I appreciate every bit of positive feedback for Goodnight Sunshine, I see each milestone on this journey as a building block — and a sign that I’m on the right track.

There was a part of me that struggled with the idea that my debut novel could win an award.  I wondered at first if I was lacking confidence, or if I was fostering a sense of faux humility.  But I knew deep down that it was neither of those; it was a recognition of where I am on my path as an author.  I am growing increasingly confident that I did not belly-flop on my first dive into the deep pool of fiction writing … but I also know that I didn’t make a perfect entry.

There is something oddly reassuring about not quite winning an award.  I had thought it would be a long-shot for Goodnight Sunshine to be on the Whistler longlist, and I am more than happy to make it that far.  Though I have not read their nominated works, I am impressed by what I have read about the three finalists who eclipsed me for this award … and I would like to congratulate each of them for their shortlist selection:

I look forward to reading each of these books, and I would also like to give a shout-out to fellow longlist nominee, Donna Barker, for her darkly humorous novel, Mother Theresa’s Advice for Jilted Lovers — a thoroughly enjoyable book that I finished reading this morning!

I am more motivated than ever to keep writing. External validations aside, I recognize that when it comes to writing, the true definition of “winning” is playing the game in the first place. Whenever I push through my own self-doubt and embrace the vulnerability that is essential to writing, I know that I have already won.

 

6 Comments

Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

Donna Barkerreply
July 18, 2016 at 04:07 PM

My sentiments exactly, Mark!
And thank you for the kind words about my novel.

Mark Cameronreply
July 18, 2016 at 05:07 PM
– In reply to: Donna Barker

Donna, thank you for writing it! How Canadian we are being, eh? 😉

PJ Reecereply
July 18, 2016 at 07:07 PM

Congrats, Mark, for making the top ten. Now all we need is a bookstore where all these indie books can be found.

Mark Cameronreply
July 18, 2016 at 10:07 PM
– In reply to: PJ Reece

Thanks, PJ! Yes to the indie book store!

Margaret Petersonreply
July 19, 2016 at 08:07 AM

It was an honour for you to be nominated, Mark. Well done!

Mark Cameronreply
July 19, 2016 at 10:07 AM
– In reply to: Margaret Peterson

Thanks, Marg!

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